Reasons To Seek A Mediation Rather Than A Divorce

When you and/or your ex decide that it’s time to call it quits, a few important decisions still remain. While “divorce,” is the general term we use to describe the legal process of ending a marriage, there are actually a few different routes you can go.

As we outlined in our Divorce vs. Mediation Explained blog, traditional divorce and mediation are two different processes between which you can choose. As a review, the main differences between the two procedures are as follows:

  • Divorce:
    • Each party has one divorce attorney who advocates on their behalf
    • Both parties use attorneys to negotiate mutually agreeable terms of the divorce (e.g. child custody, distribution of financial assets and debt)
    • If an agreement cannot be reached, the case can go to court
  • Mediation:
    • One mediator works as a third-party to moderate negotiations
    • Both parties work together to reconcile issues and reach agreeable terms
    • Mediation sessions are not technically a legal process

Be sure to check out Divorce vs. Mediation Explained for more minute details about both methods of separation.

Situations Where Mediation Makes Sense

With this resource, we want to outline a few scenarios where seeking mediation rather than divorce makes sense. Depending on your situation and your ex, a mediation can be preferable compared to divorce and vice versa. For a free consultation about your case, contact the family law attorneys today at Berger, Fischoff, Shumer, Wexler, and Goodman, LLP in Long Island.

You Want To Be Amicable

While most people don’t actively desire a hostile divorce, there are some divorce scenarios where the feelings are too raw and the resentment too abundant for any amiability to transpire.

There are other scenarios where partners simply drift apart or have been legally separated for a few years already. If you believe that you and your partner can successfully negotiate and remain civil during the divorce process, mediation could be a good option. Additionally, if you want to ensure you and your partner have a healthy working relationship for future child custody or co-parenting situations, mediation can better set you up for success.

You Need To Save Money

It’s important not to frame mediation as simple an avenue to cut costs. It’s not the same as buying the generic vs. the prescription or the store brand vs. the organic brand. It’s an entirely different process from divorce — one that also happens to be more cost-effective.

In general — though the cost depends greatly on the family law attorney you choose and your exact situation — divorce is much more costly than mediation. Where divorce can run you between $10,000 and $200,000 (if the case goes to trial), mediation tends to cost between $5,000 and $10,000 per person.

Mediation usually saves money on legal fees.

A Quick Timeline Is Important

Nobody wants a divorce to drag on forever, but there are some scenarios where a quick timeline is crucial. Perhaps children are involved and want to reach a new normal as quickly as possible. Perhaps there are immediate financial concerns you need to solve. In general, mediation is a quicker process.

Divorce proceedings rely on back-and-forth between both attorneys. Anytime a new detail emerges, it must be filtered through both attorneys, communicated back to you, and eventually resolved. This constant back-and-forth can be a laborious process for everyone involved, and it certainly tends to extend the time frame. As such, divorces can take between 18 months and two years to finalize.

Mediation, on the other hand, occurs face-to-face with both spouses. This way, conversations happen in real time rather than needing to be siphoned through divorce attorneys. If a fact or disagreement comes up, the mediator can facilitate resolution right then and there.

As a result, mediation tends to take between two and six months.

You Want Control Over The Negotiations

When you work with a family law attorney, you’re likely to get legal council on just about every decision. While ultimately you have autonomy over your choices, you’re lawyer might suggest you concede in some areas and fight in others.

If your case goes to trial, the judge has full say over the details of your divorce, including child custody, asset resolution, and debt resolution.

Working with a mediator gives you and your ex more direct control over the proceedings. You must agree on all counts, so you can better work together to find a resolution that is responsive to your particular situation.

About Our Divorce Mediation Services

With more than 60 years of experience, matrimonial attorneys at Berger, Fischoff, Shumer, Wexler, and Goodman, LLP, can serve as mediator for you and your ex. If this seems to be the best option for your situation, contact us today to learn more about our divorce mediation services.

If aggressive litigation and the full divorce process seems to be necessary instead, contact our matrimonial attorneys for a free consultation.

We look forward to speaking with you soon!

April 30, 2019

When you and/or your ex decide that it’s time to call it quits, a few important decisions still remain. While “divorce,” is the general term we use to describe the legal process of ending a marriage, there are actually a few different routes you can go.

As we outlined in our Divorce vs. Mediation Explained blog, traditional divorce and mediation are two different processes between which you can choose. As a review, the main differences between the two procedures are as follows:

  • Divorce:
    • Each party has one divorce attorney who advocates on their behalf
    • Both parties use attorneys to negotiate mutually agreeable terms of the divorce (e.g. child custody, distribution of financial assets and debt)
    • If an agreement cannot be reached, the case can go to court
  • Mediation:
    • One mediator works as a third-party to moderate negotiations
    • Both parties work together to reconcile issues and reach agreeable terms
    • Mediation sessions are not technically a legal process

Be sure to check out Divorce vs. Mediation Explained for more minute details about both methods of separation.

Situations Where Mediation Makes Sense

With this resource, we want to outline a few scenarios where seeking mediation rather than divorce makes sense. Depending on your situation and your ex, a mediation can be preferable compared to divorce and vice versa. For a free consultation about your case, contact the family law attorneys today at Berger, Fischoff, Shumer, Wexler, and Goodman, LLP in Long Island.

You Want To Be Amicable

While most people don’t actively desire a hostile divorce, there are some divorce scenarios where the feelings are too raw and the resentment too abundant for any amiability to transpire.

There are other scenarios where partners simply drift apart or have been legally separated for a few years already. If you believe that you and your partner can successfully negotiate and remain civil during the divorce process, mediation could be a good option. Additionally, if you want to ensure you and your partner have a healthy working relationship for future child custody or co-parenting situations, mediation can better set you up for success.

You Need To Save Money

It’s important not to frame mediation as simple an avenue to cut costs. It’s not the same as buying the generic vs. the prescription or the store brand vs. the organic brand. It’s an entirely different process from divorce — one that also happens to be more cost-effective.

In general — though the cost depends greatly on the family law attorney you choose and your exact situation — divorce is much more costly than mediation. Where divorce can run you between $10,000 and $200,000 (if the case goes to trial), mediation tends to cost between $5,000 and $10,000 per person.

Mediation usually saves money on legal fees.

A Quick Timeline Is Important

Nobody wants a divorce to drag on forever, but there are some scenarios where a quick timeline is crucial. Perhaps children are involved and want to reach a new normal as quickly as possible. Perhaps there are immediate financial concerns you need to solve. In general, mediation is a quicker process.

Divorce proceedings rely on back-and-forth between both attorneys. Anytime a new detail emerges, it must be filtered through both attorneys, communicated back to you, and eventually resolved. This constant back-and-forth can be a laborious process for everyone involved, and it certainly tends to extend the time frame. As such, divorces can take between 18 months and two years to finalize.

Mediation, on the other hand, occurs face-to-face with both spouses. This way, conversations happen in real time rather than needing to be siphoned through divorce attorneys. If a fact or disagreement comes up, the mediator can facilitate resolution right then and there.

As a result, mediation tends to take between two and six months.

You Want Control Over The Negotiations

When you work with a family law attorney, you’re likely to get legal council on just about every decision. While ultimately you have autonomy over your choices, you’re lawyer might suggest you concede in some areas and fight in others.

If your case goes to trial, the judge has full say over the details of your divorce, including child custody, asset resolution, and debt resolution.

Working with a mediator gives you and your ex more direct control over the proceedings. You must agree on all counts, so you can better work together to find a resolution that is responsive to your particular situation.

About Our Divorce Mediation Services

With more than 60 years of experience, matrimonial attorneys at Berger, Fischoff, Shumer, Wexler, and Goodman, LLP, can serve as mediator for you and your ex. If this seems to be the best option for your situation, contact us today to learn more about our divorce mediation services.

If aggressive litigation and the full divorce process seems to be necessary instead, contact our matrimonial attorneys for a free consultation.

We look forward to speaking with you soon!